Wednesday, March 28, 2007

Strolling through the streets of Baghdad with John McCain

I really wonder about McCain. The so-called straight-talk express seems to have run off the road and crashed into a ditch. McCain is seemingly wandering around, injury to head, babbling incoherently. On Monday, McCain was a guest on Bill "Doubling Down on Morality" Bennett's radio show where he said:

There are neighborhoods in Baghdad where you and I could walk through those neighborhoods, today.

Hmmm. Well, Sadr City would be a good choice - you might get to see a Katusha Rocket attack.

Or, you could go to the Doura (Dora?) District to dodge roadside bombs.

Wait, how about going to the Abu Dsheer neighborhood? Mortar attacks are the thing to see. If you dare.

I wouldn't got to Mustansiriyah University where a policeman was killed and three wounded in a suicide car bomb attack.

I would avoid the Zayouna district of eastern Baghdad. Gunmen killed a police lieutenant working in the Serious Crimes Unit. No, I wouldn't stroll there.

And, I would seriously avoid the al-Maalif district of western Baghdad. Gunmen opened fire on a police patrol, killing one policeman and wounding two others.

Oh. Uh. Do also avoid the Ghazaliya district in eastern Baghdad. An Iraqi soldier was killed and two wounded in a roadside blast.

Do avoid the Bayaa district. A car bomb killed two civilians and wounded ten others at a major intersection.

Unless you can stomach floating bodies, I would suggest avoiding a stroll along the famed Tigris River.

Alright, so you don't want to go strolling around Baghdad. How about the Green Zone. Everyone knows the Greeen Zone is safe. Right?

Uh, not really. Insurgents have been bombarding the Green Zone with mortar attacks. Nine people were wounded and two killed in three mortar or rocket strikes since Monday. On Tuesday a U.S. contractor and a U.S. soldier were killed, and one U.S. state department employee was wounded.

Maybe McCain was talking about some other part of the country. Nah - mortar attacks, car bombs, suicide bombers, chlorine gas attacks, sectarian reprisals, and tortured bodies are everywhere. No, I'm not citing it - read the gosh danged front page of your newspaper.

Senator McCain, I strongly suggest you burn your particular version of Fodor's. We don't want you going and getting kidnapped out on the streets of Baghdad. Do we?


TomCat said...

Ron, I think that's enough talk from McCain. It would be much better if he were to demonstrate the safe places to walk. It would also simplify the GOP primaries, as they would have one less candidate.

entersandman said...

Hahah, hilarious post. Great job.

Larry said...

I agree with Tomcat.

McCain and Bill Bennett who was interviewing him at the time should both walk arm in arm up and down the streets of Baghdad.

Incidentally McCain was trying to deny saying that today, even though it is on tape.

Political Realm said...

But reality doesn't work for his position on Iraq. So why not pretend like there's progess and we'll call it a day!

Good stuff, Ron.